Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures

So, these pictures of Heidi Montag with the loser are obviously staged but I don’t care. The girl knows how to rock a bikini and she knows how to rock it well. And anyone who says otherwise is an idiot, because you know you’d all be knee deep in that in a heartbeat. Anyway, let’s hope the next set of staged pics comes with a little less Spencer and a whole lot less bikini.

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Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pictures

So it’s that time of year again, when all the celebrities hit the beach and get in their bikinis. Here’s our first set and of course it’s of Lindsay Lohan, because a Memorial Day weekend wouldn’t be the same without her in a bikini. Now they’re not the best photos, but it’s a start. So stay tuned and let’s see what else this weekend brings us.

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Kim Kardashian Ralph Magazine Outtakes

Here are some Kim Kardashian outtakes from her recent Ralph Magazine shoot that she posted on her website. As you can see, Kim decided not to cover her lower half up, and now you know why she normally does. Anyway, I think it was a brave move on her part and this should be an inspiration to all you fatties out there… to diet. Because just think, if Kim was a few pounds lighter, she’d be bangin’.

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Miranda Kerr Is Naked And Waiting

Here’s one more implied nude shot a loyal reader sent in of Miranda Kerr. I didn’t know she was so popular with you fellas. Usually I find models to be boring subjects to write about, but Miranda looks quite inviting in this picture. I’m pretty sure she wants to have sex with me

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Billie Piper Topless Bikini Pictures

I don’t know if many of you know who Billie Piper is. She’s a British pop star if my memory serves me correctly, and she’s also the girl who has no problem being topless at the beach. And any girl who doesn’t have a problem with that is OK in my books. Also, there are rumors about her being pregnant so if that’s the case, well… then you guys are sick for looking at these!

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Miranda Kerr Bikini Pictures

Well here’s a change of pace: Miranda Kerr swimsuit pictures. Yes, I know it’s shocking considering last week was all about Miranda Kerr being naked, thanks to all you guys who flooded my inbox with her nude photos. You made my job a hell of a lot easier. So just consider these pictures a token of my appreciation. Enjoy.

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In an itsy-bitsy bikini a glamorous Pink frollicks with a new mystery man

In an itsy-bitsy polka-dot bikini Pink cut a feminine figure as she frollicked in the waves with a mystery man.

After filing for divorce from husband Carey Hart in February, the popstar appeared to be getting on with her lovelife on the beach in California.

And, perhaps her new man could be the explanation for her sudden change in style.
The singer, who is known for her trademark tomboy chic, adopted a more glamorous look in a cloche hat and strapless red and white two-piece.

The mystery man also seems to have got the 28-year-old smiling again as she shrieked with laughter as they play wrestled in springtime sunshine.

Showing off her many tattoos, Pink did not seem to be burdened by her split from husband of 21 months Hart.

They announced their seperation amidst rumours he had been cheating on her.

Pink was also overheard in Hollywood restaurant Eleven saying she needed "space" from her 33-year-old husband.
These rumours were then substantiated when the popstar's publicist Michele Schweitzer confirmed: "Pink and Carey Hart have separated.

"This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another.

"While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger."

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Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures

Here’s Kim Kardashian and her sister on the set of their reality show chilling out by the pool in their bikinis. Once again, Kim is covering up her lower half and I don’t know why. I mean, that’s her money maker, and even if it’s fat and out of shape there’s still a small population of people who are into that. Anyway, a little squats and lunges could fix that up in no time. And just think, with those big tits and a new tight ass, Kim’s porn opportunities would be limitless.

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Natalie Cassidy admits: 'I have to work out for two hours a day to keep my Size 8 figure'

Former EastEnders actress Natalie Cassidy has admitted that keeping her newly trim physique is proving to be nightmare - and she has to work out for two hours daily to keep her Size 8 figure.

The 24 year-old lost 4 stone last year after dropping four dress sizes from a size 12 to an 8 in eight months.

She told Closer magazine: "Maintaining the weight is the toughest bit.
"It's bloody hard work. I'm in the gym every day at 7am doing spinning classes or with my personal trainer, Dee Thresher, who did the work-out DVD with me.

"It can be a nightmare - I'm there for up to two hours a day."
Like many women Miss Cassidy admitted to having tried lots of diets, but once she had achieved her target weight, would pile the pounds back on by returning to her previous bad habits.

Miss Cassidy who is 5ft 4 and weighs 8 stone 1 lb - down from 12 stone - has also been forced to radically alter her eating habits.

She said: "It's all about moderation, but I do love a glass of white wine.

"If I go out and drink a lot one night, I won't drink for the rest of the week as alcohol is full of calories."

She added: "I'm a perfectionist and now I've got the hourglass figure I've always wanted. When I say I'm going to do something I do it.

Miss Cassidy recently told The Mirror: "I'm comfortable with my weight between 8st 8lb and 8st 1lb - it's important to have that extra half-stone leeway, so you don't panic if you put on a few pounds."

She had breast implants three years ago to boost her curves from a 36B to a 36D.

And she admitted: "I love my boob job and wouldn't rule out having more surgery - never say never."

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Marla Maples Bikini Pictures

I don’t know who Andy Baldwin is, but I’m guessing he’s another one of the Baldwin brothers. I do know that he’s at least 30 years younger than Marla Maples. Here they are at the beach, and for an old bag Marla still has it going on, in a weird grandma type of way. Anyway, regardless of the fact that Marla is well preserved for her age, this relationship just doesn’t sit well with me because any guy who dates an older broad definitely has unresolved mommy issues. And no ladies, the same doesn’t apply when men date younger women.

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Madonna touched up by the airbrush for her video striptease

As Madonna approaches 50, it appears reinvention now requires a little digital trickery.

The pop star has debuted her latest raunchy incarnation in a clip for her new single 4 Minutes, but it seems she has turned to soft focus, gentle lighting and perhaps a little airbrushing to get her look just right.
In the sci-fi inspired video, Madonna strips down to a skimpy corset in front of Justin Timberlake, who is almost half her age at 26.

Her flesh-coloured outfit is not unlike the infamous Jean Paul Gautier basque she wore in Express Yourself in 1989 and if the clip is to be believed, she has barely aged a day in the two decades in between.

Madonna also trade moves - and a kiss - with Timberlake in front of a giant clock performing a four-minute countdown.
The two dance around on car bonnets, along a grocery moving checkout counter, in a bedroom.

The video was filmed in London two months ago and was directed by French wunderkinds Jonas and François.

Of the new clip, Madonna said only: "Goody goody gum drops."

The pulsating track, which was originally titled Four Minutes to Save the World, is the first single is off Madonna's latest album, Hard Candy, which will be released on April 29.

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Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures

I don’t know what Mena Suvari is thinking, but she shouldn’t be wearing that type of bikini. In fact, she shouldn’t be wearing a bikini at all.. I feel like I’m looking at myself in the mirror and it’s creeping me out. Then again, I do have a firmer ass than Mena’s…

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What cheek! Gisele hits the beach in barely-there denim shorts

Former Victoria's Secret model Gisele Bündchen wasn't keeping much hidden during a seaside photo shoot in Malibu yesterday.

The Brazilian took to the sand in a daring pair of shredded denim shorts that exposed almost all of her derrière.

The 5' 11" star was being photographed by Mario Testino, famous for his work with Diana, Princess of Wales and Hollywood's biggest stars including Demi Moore, Madonna and Angelina Jolie.

Gisele, 27, was fresh from from whirlwind holiday with her American footballer boyfriend, Tom Brady, who plays for the New England Patriots.

Last month the pair holidayed in Costa Rica, then stopped off for romantic visit to Paris before flying into Ibiza, where Gisele was booked to to promote the new collection of Vogue sunglasses.

And there was probably no expense spared on the trip - after all, Gisele was named the highest paid model in the world after earning more that £16 million in just 12 months.

She has made an estimated £75 million fortune and is the face of more than 20 brands around the globe.

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Jordan, Posh and Amy are spitting

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty as Olympic athletes, Posh Spice with a pig nose and Gordon Brown as Ebeneezer Scrooge, will be among the stars as a rebranded, revamped Spitting Image returns to TV screens.

The two dissolute pop stars will be shown representing Britain in a 2012 London "drug Olympics", in the new ITV satire.

But unlike Spitting Image from 1984 to 1996, the characters will not be mocked as unflatteringly ugly puppets - but unflatteringly ugly 3D computer animations.
The new £2.5million show, Headcases, reunites some of the key names behind Spitting Image - including head writer Henry Naylor and impressionist Rory Bremner.

But this time, celebrities under the spotlight such as Prince William and the Beckhams are shown in Toy Story-style CGI animation.

Even so, each show will be finished just hours before transmission to try to maintain the cutting edge for which Spitting Image became (in)famous.

Spitting Image became notorious for such depictions as John Major as an entirely grey man, the Queen Mother as an alcoholic gambling addict, Norman Tebbit as a leather-clad "bovver boy", former Tory Home Secretary Kenneth Baker as a slug and Tony Blair as a man with a ludicrously expanding smile.

Perhaps in a nod to this earlier example, Headcases will feature Home Secretary Jacqui Smith's bust swelling and shrinking depending on the terrorist threat to the UK.

Princes William and Harry will be seen ordering ham and caviar pizza, while the prime minister is a Dickensian miser persistently irritated by spoof calls from Tony Blair.

Mr Brown is portrayed throwing a celebrity party at Downing Street, but a mistake by Alistair Darling means Winehouse and Doherty are the only guests to turn up.

Senior Conservatives David Cameron, George Osbourne and a binge-drinking William Hague will also appear, as will French president Nicolas Sarjozy and Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg - but Jack Straw, David Davis and Vincent Cable missed the cut.

Electoral fairness laws mean Boris Johnson cannot turn up on screen until after the London mayoral elections in May.

Naylor said: "It is bold of ITV to commission a new satire in the Spitting Image slot with a high political content.

"Part of our mission is to make politics accessible to people."i

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Adriana Lima Strips On Her Camera Phone

Here’s some sexy camera phone commercial starring the super hot Adriana Lima. It’s not in English so I have no clue what’s being said, but that’s not important because we get to see Adriana strip in and out of clothes. And that’s enough for me to buy whatever she’s selling. Don’t believe me? You should check out the underwear I have on now, they’re pretty sexy.

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